Home / Music News / Niall Horan isn’t going to sit on your fucking chair

Niall Horan isn’t going to sit on your fucking chair

The good news is that Billboard magazine sent noted photographer David Needleman to take pictures for their new Niall Horan cover feature.

The bad news from the pictures we’ve been sent is that Needleman, an in-demand photographer with an impressive portfolio, nonetheless failed to capture Niall Horan sitting on anything remotely appropriate for a human arse. Instead the pictures he took tell the story of how this rebel without a chaise will simply not sit on your fucking chair.

As a result we are presented with a series of intimate portraits which, put together, depict a troubled, complex man. A man in crisis.

1. Niall Horan isn’t going to sit on that fucking sofa. Fuck you

He’s wearing his shoes on that nice rug too. The people who rented their home out for the shoot left very clear instructions regarding footwear inside the house. That’ll be an extra $90.

2. Yes Niall Horan is fully aware of the hygiene implications thank you very fucking much but he’s still going to sit on the fucking kitchen counter

Earlier that day it’s reasonable to expect that Niall did a big shit out of his bumhole, but there he is, bold as brass, placing that very bumhole in close proximity to a food preparation area. On the chairs front, it’s clear that he is in a room that surely offers ample seating — possibly even at a ‘breakfast bar’ — but Niall is unhappy with that arrangement. One is inevitably led to wonder if Niall has perhaps suffered at a breakfast bar — perhaps falling off a chair or stool and finding himself attaching a deep sense of shame to all future offers of seating, making him psychologically incapable of proper sitting.

3. Niall Horan is pretty fucking pleased with himself about this non-chair-based seating arrangement and he fucking doesn’t care who knows

What is that, a diving board or one end of a surfboard? Or is it just an ironing board? We’ll tell you what it’s fucking not: a chair.

4. Niall Horan is going to get fucking piles if he stays there too long

This is perhaps the saddest of all the shots. Here we find Niall looking nervously at what one presumes is a sun lounger. He knows a sun lounger is principally used in a lying-down scenario, but he also knows that the sun lounger easily adjusts, allowing the user to sit up. Niall is not going to sit on that fucking sun lounger. But if everyone absolutely guarantees that they won’t adjust it, he might have a fucking lie down. Alright?

READER APPEAL: Have YOU seen Niall Horan avoiding chairs? If so please email us at the usual address, or tweet @popjustice. 

The post Niall Horan isn’t going to sit on your fucking chair appeared first on Popjustice.

Click Here For Original Source Of The Article

Check Also

Need A Lyft?: Uber Paid Hush Money To Cover Up Data Breach

Uber and the popular ridesharing firm’s new CEO, Dara Khosrowshahi, has another mess to clean up thanks to the former CEO Travis Kalanik. The company revealed to Bloomberg News that they hid the fact they paid hackers to cover up a data breach in October 2016. Unbelievable… The hackers reportedly tried to extort Uber after they […]

The post Need A Lyft?: Uber Paid Hush Money To Cover Up Data Breach appeared first on Hip-Hop Wired.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

css.php